Okay, I admit it. I went to BYU once before, but I never felt a major school pride kind of thing. I went there in my youth, I almost paid attention to my classes. I paid attention to boys very well, thank you very much. I'm back at school again and this time around it's different. Because I'm a more serious student? Because I'm older and more grateful for the opportunity? I don't know for sure. I still pay attention to boys (well one handsome bald one anyway) but there is definitely a difference when the tuition all comes out of you own pocket and when school is something you are choosing to do despite personal sacrifice of time and energy. I guess I just mean to say that it's different when it's something you really want.
Gary and I went out to eat last week (Gary says it was to congratulate me on finisihing the school year, I think it might actually have been to welcome me back to land of the living. I think he's hoping I'll clean something now. Starting with our closet. Correction, my part of the closet.) Anyway, we went out to eat on the evening of graduation, and the restaurant was crowded with BYU grads and their proud parents. The graduates were so young by the way, but that's a story for another day. Anyway, as we sat and ate it started to get dark outside. As it did they lit the 'Y' on the mountain and we had a perfect view from our table. Can't explain it. Never really felt it before, but I was suddenly quite struck by how proud I am to be a BYU student. Am I late coming to this party? The Beach Boys sang about being true to your school quite some time ago, so I think I must be.
Those of you who do not like BYU (c'mon, I know you are out there) will have to indulge me for just a minute. Sorry, but this a school pride post after all. BYU is quite a place. I am hardly one of these who thinks it is the only legitimate place in the world to seek education, but I am so grateful for my experience there so far. Where else can you study English with full acknowledgment that great writers have always written about man's relationship with God and with the ability to fully explore religious literary themes? Where else can you write your final political science essay comparing and contrasting Marxism with Mormonism? Where else can you take Nutrition and have the word of wisdom as part of the curriculum? Where else can you go to school during Jimmermania and experience the total bewilderment of reporters who have flocked to campus because they can't believe there is actually a college in the country that takes it's honor code seriously? And don't even get me started on the students. I can't say enough about how kind they've been to me, how hard most of them work, and how fun and good they are. Going up to campus makes me feel better about the future. School pride. I finally found it. I even bought a BYU shirt the other day. A key chain too. Not something I'd ever done before for myself. I guess I'd better face it. I'm a zoobie. Go cougs.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Mothers of the world...Unite!
A little ode there to Karl Marx who I have been studying ad nauseum for the past few days. Instead of workers uniting in a bloody revolution against the Bourgeoisie however, I propose mothers of the world unite in feeling awesome about themselves.
Returning to "university" as my Canadian professor puts it, at the age of 38 was scary. I'm so pleased to announce that after almost twenty years of full-time mothering, my brain has apparently not shrivelled up and died, and neither has yours. Turns out I'm a pretty good student, and here's the part that cracks me up... Almost all the qualities that make me a good student are skills I've honed in my years as a mom.
1) Read the syllabus. Amazing how many typical college kids skim over page one and then toss the thing. Shockingly, there's information in there about when assignments are due, how grading works, and where the heck the professor's office is located. How was this learned as a mother? Because if you don't read all the papers from your kindergarter's teacher quite thouroughly you end up with your beloved child in tears because they showed up on the 100th day of school without their bag of 100 fruit loops. Lesson learned. Read the papers.
2) Show up. Sounds easy, but boy are there a lot of empty chairs in class some days. Show up. It's not just half the battle, it's more. It is hard to recall information for a test when you weren't there to hear the information in the first place. And motherhood? It's all about showing up. No choice but to show up most of the time. Mom is sick today? That's really nice, but kids still need to eat. Also, someone still needs to make sure the baby doesn't eat the plants or color on the walls. Showing up is second nature to a mom.
3) Resist the temptation to procrastinate. I don't even know how many times kids in my classes will lean over to me and say something like, "Hey, you would know...when is our Interpretive Analysis paper due?" First of all, see item #1. Usually when I'm asked this question it's about an assignment I've already started work on. Turns out starting work early is actually a good idea! How I learned this as a mother? All it takes is one night up until 2am helping your kid with their 8th grade project for you to realize that procrastination really is a terrible idea. Or a kid telling you at 10pm that they need a posterboard for school tomorrow, oh, and it needs to be hot pink. Or trying to make Halloween or Christmas successful without starting a month in advance. You get the idea...
4) Get over your fear of asking for help. I was so scared of this when I was younger, but I have been forced to face it as a mother. Insurance company messed up your bill? No choice but to call. Doctor can't see your kid until tomorrow, but you know they need to be seen today? Gotta call. Your kid is struggling with a math concept and refuses to go see the teacher? So easy to see from my perspective how to fix this. Professors have office hours for a reason. They do not bite. They will almost always give you a better grade on your final paper if you consulted with them of your rough draft. Simply having them know who you are is a huge advantage.
5) Get organized! Stay on top of the work. Not rocket science really, but true nonetheless. Being at least somewhat organized is crucial in a family. Without it kids get left at choir practice, soccer practice gets missed, no one has clean clothes for church, and don't even think about a family vacation without it. My kids laugh at me, but I don't know how else to get everything in the car for a trip without handing everyone a mandatory packing list that reads like: 5 pair of socks, sunglasses, flip-flops, swimsuit, 3 pants, 3 shorts, 4 pajamas, 5 shirts, 5 pair CLEAN underwear etc. Get organized! If you have two big projects due on the same day, you're going to have to organize yourself.
6) And finally... Learn how to sacrifice and sometimes do things you don't want to do. So important in school. Hmmmm... watch a movie tonight or read the Communist Manifesto? Take a nap or translate 20 lines of Beowulf into poetic modern english? C'mon. No one in their right mind really wants to choose the latter, but these are the choices you have to make if you are going to get to the finish line. Now I'm not saying motherhood isn't fun, but I will also not pretend like every mothering moment is a big party. Watch a movie or work on a poster about the life cycle of a whale? Take a nap or play Candyland for the 1,000th time? Read a novel or teach your kid how to load dishes? It's all about the end goal, and self-sacrifice is sometimes the only way to get there.
So don't worry. You are not wasting time. Mothering is the best and most important work in the world. It's considerably more important than Old English literature or modern politcal philosphy. The additional good news is that your brain is NOT turning into a dusty prune while you do it. You have mad skills. Any college would be crazy not to accept you and any employer crazy not to hire you. You are the best, most organized, most capable, most compassionate women I know!
Returning to "university" as my Canadian professor puts it, at the age of 38 was scary. I'm so pleased to announce that after almost twenty years of full-time mothering, my brain has apparently not shrivelled up and died, and neither has yours. Turns out I'm a pretty good student, and here's the part that cracks me up... Almost all the qualities that make me a good student are skills I've honed in my years as a mom.
1) Read the syllabus. Amazing how many typical college kids skim over page one and then toss the thing. Shockingly, there's information in there about when assignments are due, how grading works, and where the heck the professor's office is located. How was this learned as a mother? Because if you don't read all the papers from your kindergarter's teacher quite thouroughly you end up with your beloved child in tears because they showed up on the 100th day of school without their bag of 100 fruit loops. Lesson learned. Read the papers.
2) Show up. Sounds easy, but boy are there a lot of empty chairs in class some days. Show up. It's not just half the battle, it's more. It is hard to recall information for a test when you weren't there to hear the information in the first place. And motherhood? It's all about showing up. No choice but to show up most of the time. Mom is sick today? That's really nice, but kids still need to eat. Also, someone still needs to make sure the baby doesn't eat the plants or color on the walls. Showing up is second nature to a mom.
3) Resist the temptation to procrastinate. I don't even know how many times kids in my classes will lean over to me and say something like, "Hey, you would know...when is our Interpretive Analysis paper due?" First of all, see item #1. Usually when I'm asked this question it's about an assignment I've already started work on. Turns out starting work early is actually a good idea! How I learned this as a mother? All it takes is one night up until 2am helping your kid with their 8th grade project for you to realize that procrastination really is a terrible idea. Or a kid telling you at 10pm that they need a posterboard for school tomorrow, oh, and it needs to be hot pink. Or trying to make Halloween or Christmas successful without starting a month in advance. You get the idea...
4) Get over your fear of asking for help. I was so scared of this when I was younger, but I have been forced to face it as a mother. Insurance company messed up your bill? No choice but to call. Doctor can't see your kid until tomorrow, but you know they need to be seen today? Gotta call. Your kid is struggling with a math concept and refuses to go see the teacher? So easy to see from my perspective how to fix this. Professors have office hours for a reason. They do not bite. They will almost always give you a better grade on your final paper if you consulted with them of your rough draft. Simply having them know who you are is a huge advantage.
5) Get organized! Stay on top of the work. Not rocket science really, but true nonetheless. Being at least somewhat organized is crucial in a family. Without it kids get left at choir practice, soccer practice gets missed, no one has clean clothes for church, and don't even think about a family vacation without it. My kids laugh at me, but I don't know how else to get everything in the car for a trip without handing everyone a mandatory packing list that reads like: 5 pair of socks, sunglasses, flip-flops, swimsuit, 3 pants, 3 shorts, 4 pajamas, 5 shirts, 5 pair CLEAN underwear etc. Get organized! If you have two big projects due on the same day, you're going to have to organize yourself.
6) And finally... Learn how to sacrifice and sometimes do things you don't want to do. So important in school. Hmmmm... watch a movie tonight or read the Communist Manifesto? Take a nap or translate 20 lines of Beowulf into poetic modern english? C'mon. No one in their right mind really wants to choose the latter, but these are the choices you have to make if you are going to get to the finish line. Now I'm not saying motherhood isn't fun, but I will also not pretend like every mothering moment is a big party. Watch a movie or work on a poster about the life cycle of a whale? Take a nap or play Candyland for the 1,000th time? Read a novel or teach your kid how to load dishes? It's all about the end goal, and self-sacrifice is sometimes the only way to get there.
So don't worry. You are not wasting time. Mothering is the best and most important work in the world. It's considerably more important than Old English literature or modern politcal philosphy. The additional good news is that your brain is NOT turning into a dusty prune while you do it. You have mad skills. Any college would be crazy not to accept you and any employer crazy not to hire you. You are the best, most organized, most capable, most compassionate women I know!
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