Guilt

Today's back to school topic is guilt.  Although I do have some funny anecdotes about school, today's entry will not be one of them. Guilt is nothing new, I am a Mormon mom after all, so guilt and I have met once or twice in the past. Mid-terms are next week, and I'm feeling the heat. Still, I try had to put the kids first.  My husband was at a funeral in AZ last weekend so I spent lots of time with my kiddos then even though it meant neglecting my studies.  I took them to breakfast Saturday morning and that night we watched a movie and did facials.  Sunday we went to church, went to choir practice, went to another choir practice, and I played a game with the kids.  Monday everyone was home from school (including myself and the hubby) so we went to lunch and bowling. 

By the time Tuesday rolled around, I was feeling quite behind in the old studies.  So I decided it was time to buckle down, get serious, hit the books.  Then today my 15 year old informed me I'm neglecting my motherly duties by going to school.  Zing.  Let me explain a little. He says he didn't mind so much last semester when all my classes were squarely in the daytime.  This semester I have afternoon classes.  Three times a week I don't get home until about 5:30.  I didn't want to take a late class, but I ran into scheduling difficulty that is boring, but legitimate.  So despite the fact that the hubby has been home by 3:30 both days this week that I've been late (and often is), I'm shirking my duties. Add to that increased study time this week, and I'm in the doghouse. Four months of home late a few times a week and all my hard work for the last 18 years is null and void. 

Thing is, I don't have it in me to decide he's just being a pain in the butt teenager.  No, I'm a mom.  I love my kids.  The worst thing lets see... ever, would be for them to think they are not number one on my list.

So, not a lot of good options here folks.  Guilty about not studying if I go downstairs and watch American Idol with my kids.  Guilty about not being with my kids if I stay here and study.  Awesome.

Love being back in school.  Don't love this.